Frequently Asked Questions

Attending a ballroom dance is primarily a social activity where you might expect to make small talk, enjoy dancing with different dance partners and connect with a variety of people of different ages and wonderfully different backgrounds.

Here are guidelines to help you experience and sustain a welcoming environment for all, as we welcome a diverse community of singles and partners.

Who should ask?

When at a social dance it is always acceptable (and encouraged) for anyone to ask anyone else to dance regardless of age, ability, gender or whether you are a lead or follow. Please remember that asking someone to dance is a good way to show your interest in dancing and to perhaps make a new friend.

What if I don't know what the dance is?

Let your partner know by saying something like "I don't know how to do this one. Will you show me the basic?" Gracious partners will happily do just that, keeping it simple and enjoyable for you.

How do I handle declined invitations?

Every person has the option of accepting or declining an invitation to dance for any reason whatsoever. If you hear no, it may mean the person you asked is tired, sweaty, needs to get some water, or otherwise wants to sit one out.

If you decline a dance, sit out the remainder of the song, otherwise, it looks like you were waiting for a better offer to come along, and you are not being very considerate (or social). If you decline a dance with a person, it’s a kind gesture to ask that person to dance later.

What if I consistently hear "No?"

If it is not your hygiene that is unsavory, then it may be your dancing. Do you pinch fingers, yank arms, injure people, make people uncomfortable with very close contact dance positions, inappropriate touching or staring, or correct people on the dance floor?

If someone is unsavory, tell a board member. We will address the issue.

What are the expectations for personal grooming and hygiene?

Make sure nothing is unsavory about your hygiene. Dirty hands, sweaty clothes, bad breath, onions or garlic for dinner, body odor, dirty clothes, among countless other things, always work against your desirability as a dance partner. People sometimes bring spare shirts or spare pants if they know they often sweat heavily.

Is correcting OK at social dances?

Correcting your dance partner while at a social dance amounts to providing unwanted criticism and is poor etiquette. Learning new things is the purpose of classes and organized practice sessions. Please make a pleasant memory for someone new to dancing and show that you are a gracious partner to dancers of all levels.

The only exceptions are if a person is hurting you or is making you feel uncomfortable in a creepy way: twisted fingers, hands dug into shoulders and back, yanked arms, "accidental" brushing or rubbing, etc. are never tolerable from anyone.

What do I if I have a behaviour complaint?

Please speak out by informing a board member of unwanted touch or behaviour so we can help remedy the situation.

How come no one asks me to dance?

If you want social interaction, make yourself approachable as opposed to retreating to a distant part of the room or engaging in a conversation with your back to the dance floor. If waiting for an invitation to dance is taking too long, then go ahead and ask someone to dance!

How do I ask someone to dance?

Walk up to the person, make eye contact, and respectfully ask, "Would you like to dance?" If the person is involved in a conversation, you could say, "Excuse me / Pardon me, would you like to dance?" Interrupting a conversation is definitely permitted.

Remember, people may say "No" for any reason whatsoever. An invitation to dance is not an obligation to dance. Bear in mind, dances are social events. It is rude to monopolize a dancer’s time.

What do I wear?

Your choice of attire depends on your comfort. Some events are themed and people will optionally dress up. Leather or suede-soled (ideally dance) shoes that don’t mark the wooden dance floor are the best for ballroom dancing. We discourage street shoes which may be muddy and sticky, possibly leading to knee injuries.  

How do I know what dance to do?

Recognizing the dance steps by the music can take some time to learn. In many cases, there are choices of dancing either a Swing or Fox Trot to one song; Lindy or Quickstep to another; West Coast Swing and Cha Cha; Merengue or Hustle, as examples. For convenience, we display the DJ’s set list and suggested dance steps. Ultimately, it is up to the dancers to decide what to dance. 

Final Words

Realize that everyone involved in ballroom dance was a beginner at one time. Most people remember what that was like and help acclimate others to the environment with the goal of having an enjoyable evening.  Welcomed and highly regarded dancers are the people who are consistently gracious to dancers of all skill levels and help nurture a welcoming community.